


teatime

by mistyviolin



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 07:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17116736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistyviolin/pseuds/mistyviolin
Summary: personal work.





	teatime

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to those whom I want so desperately to share this with the most,
> 
> but cannot, and will not.

In the event that I am indeed dying,  
I chronicle my symptoms;  
Sudden onset discomfort in my neck and skull;  
I taste dust and nickel in my mouth, and it is difficult to breathe. 

If I am dying, I apologize deeply to those who are fond of me. It was not my intent to leave you so soon. It is difficult to see what I am writing. 

To my best friends here, I wish you strength. Though we joked in the past, I would be displeased to see any of you follow me too soon; I ask that you do not, if at all possible. 

In any event I ask that you treasure your life, though the path ahead may look dismal- or perhaps I presume my importance? Haha. 

To my best friends elsewhere I ask you the same; you have been by my side longer than anyone else. I am not sure if this will ever make it to you, given the nature of our relationship- I pray that despite the distance you find solace. 

To Alex, I apologize. You are too young to experience loss, but all the same it will come. 

To Matthew, though I barely know you now. I never stopped chasing your ghost. I hated myself for it. I still do. I wish I could have learned to let go. 

To Tyler, I apologize as well. I loved you deeply. I still do. And though I knew courting you was beyond the realm of possibilities I dreamed of it.   
I was entranced with you. Enamored. The intensity of my emotion frightened me. I longed to be closer to you. To hold you, but I always wavered. I always wanted more. I’m sorry I wasn’t satisfied with what you had given me. I fear what you would think of me now, despite everything. 

To R. Sharpe, you have been a point of stability for me since we met all those years ago. So much has changed. You have always been one of my dearest friends. Please do not guilt yourself any longer. You have done nothing wrong. 

To my parents, I am sorry that I was not the child you wanted. I am sorry that I lost sight of myself and my education. Of my passion for music. It is not your fault.   
To my stepfather, you have always been a second father to me. Once you asked me if I would think it strange if you wanted me to call you Dad. At the time the notion surprised me, but I would have happily done so. 

To my brothers, remain creative. Never stop questioning. Carry on. 

To B. Knowlton and to those dedicated to my prosperity as a student, I thank you greatly. I am sorry to die without accomplishing much past graduation. Keep the greenhouses warm for me. I’m rather cold and I’m in the mood to visit.

Reading back I already feel a bit embarrassed by what I’ve said but nonetheless it rings true. I have written no lies. 

The sun rises and sets. This too, will pass. 

Humbly yours,

AS


End file.
